I know what condition I have and I’m afraid, it’s terminal. Yep. There is no cure and there is barely a treatment for it. But, the good news is, it has a name. Terminological Inexactitude Syndrome, or T.I.S. for short.
How did you come by this diagnosis, you may ask. Good question, by the way. Ok. so there’s this woman, her name is Kristen Lamb, anyways, she emailed me an article about this condition. I know, right? How could she possibly know I was searching for answers to my problem? Do you think she’s read my mail. I know! She’s listening in on my conversations through my TV! That must be it! Anyways, in this email, she talks about this, condition or syndrome, I don’t know which, and how utterly horrible it is.
I mean, we’re talking, how this, syndrome, condition, thing, is present at birth and no one knows why. Is it genetic? Nature? Nurture? Who knows. Point is, it’s real. As real as the people who sit on my couch and tell me about their lives so I can write it down. Yeah!
People who suffer from this will go for weeks with little sleep, eating horrible delivery food, no exercise while locked up in a room all by themselves so they can pound keys on a keyboard, or scribble hieroglyphics on paper in the hopes of one day gluing them together into a book so everyone can read their scattered thoughts. I mean, come on, this is serious business! Oh, and if you knock on the door to their rooms, they might go ballistic and write you into their story so they can kill you in some of the most terrifying ways.
Don’t believe me? Here, read it for yourself, but I caution you. Read it with the lights on and you might want to leave them on when you go to bed. Yeah, it’s that frightening!
I warned you.
Disclaimer: If you are a friend, family member or colleague of mine, I cannot be held responsible for any and all symptoms of this dreaded syndrome you might encounter. Keep all appendages inside the lines at all times or they might be severed in a quest to add to my WIP. For those of you unfamiliar with the terminology of this syndrome, please see glossary at the bottom of this page.
WIP – Work In Progress
T.I.S. – Terminological Inexactitude Syndrome